THE "Q" WORD
A minister called adultery "the A word." And so, I asked him: "Then what do you call fornication"? (smile)
Words, and how they are used, are a powerful form of societal communication. From generation to generation, customs and cultures and ways of vocal expression change.
In response to my recent survey on the use of the word "Queer" ("the "Q" word"), a Trans person writes:
"Modern usage is [often] different then when...terms were first coined."
A male Hetereosexual Respondent asks: "Are 'Gay' men really always 'happy'? Are 'Queer' men really 'queer', 'strange'?
I surveyed people, chosen at random, as to their like or dislike of the current trend of increased usage of the Q word in the LGBT community. Respondents surveyed include Clergy and Laity, people of both genders, LGBT folk and Hetereosexuals. Here, I wish to express gratitude to those who participated in the survey.
A Trans person states: "...the actual dictionary definition of the [Q] word just means 'different"..." And so, I looked up the Q word in my dictionary (American Heritage Dictionary of the English language). Here is what it says:
"QUEER - (1) deviating from the expected or normal; strange; peculiar (2) eccentric (3) perverse."
Another Trans person says: "I see it [Q] on the same level as the 'N' word."
Yet, another Trans person writes: "....[I am] not too concerned about what other people call me." A Lesbian says: "I am a...believer in letting folks use the words they are comfortable with. It is not up to me to tell others what to do."
A Lesbian respondent feels the Q word to mean "odd". She states: "I am not odd, beside, why do we have to have labels?" (Good question)! In response to a recent telecast, a listener wrote: "What a person does when they label someone is put an individual shield between them and the person they have labeled. Consequently they will never see the person for who they are or the quality of person they are because that 'invisible shield', the 'label,' prevents them from seeing the real true inner person, their compassion, spirit, intelligence, capabilities, and...quality."
Which brings us to an interesting distinction -- how the Q word is used to describe individuals, and how the Q word is used to classify groups of people.
A Lesbian writer says: "...I like that word [Q] because it is inclusive to all sexual minorities instead of...smaller sub-categories." There was a time when the word 'Gay' was used to include both men and women. Today the word 'Gay' generally refers to men only, whereas many women in the LGBT community prefer to be called "Lesbian."
A 60-year old Hetereosexual woman who works with LGBT youth states: "They [high school and college age young people]...feel that 'Gay' does not include bisexual, lesbian, transgender or intersex persons. A number of self-identified 'queer' young people do not identify as male or female and reject gender pronouns." Here she is speaking of a particular age category on a group level; Hence, she is quick to add: "I do listen and try to respect every individual. I use the name and pronoun that they prefer." (Emphasis added).
"Two Gay male ministers voiced the opinion that: "...the use of the Q word is a "generational thing. Young LGBT people like it and use it Probably most of us who are older...are less comfortable with it."
A Trans person writes: "...in today's youth culture, many users of the term 'queer' are ignorant of the pain and suffering which was inflicted by this title." She also states: "Those who bore the epitaph turned it around and began wearing it as a badge of honor.
A Gay male drag entertainer writes: "My grandmother use to use that [Q] word to imply something or someone was different and did not mean it in a derogatory manner. However, we have come into a whole different generation and more than not this word is used not as a word to define something or someone different, but as a 'hate phrase'...I think one would have to listen to the inflection of how the [Q] word was used." A Trans person says: "I don't like the [Q] word used in a harsh way as to offend anyone
A Lesbian writes: "I might use the [Q] word in fun with another gay person but it's similar to a black person using the 'N' word with another black person."
A Hetereosexual Clergyperson states: "Those outside the [LGBT] group use it [Q] as an insult...people inside the [LGBT] group use it [Q] as a way to say: 'This is what I am -- like it or not.'"
A Lesbian author and publisher feels that the use of words such as "queer" causes a separation in society.
NEGATIVE USE OF THE "Q" WORD:
In 1963, in Oakland, California, when my Trans friend Laura retrieved a letter from her mail box, addressed to her and to her roommate, someone scribbled on the envelope: "QUEERS!"
In 1976, while walking down a street in NE Portland, Oregon, a group of teenage boys drove by, and yelled from their car: "Hey you f_ _ing queer!"
A Gay respondent says: "Anytime anyone, including gays, adopt a derogatory term to describe themselves, it is falling for the brainwashing that society labels those they want to distinct as undesirable..." He also writes: "In the Oregonian [newspaper] there was an article that said in Alabama, Anti-War groups and Gay groups were put on the Terrorist watch list...the term Terrorist is now being used to single out groups not popular with conservatives"!
POSITIVE CHANGES IN USE OF THE "Q" WORD:
A Gay male minister says that we need to "detoxify" and "reclaim" the Q word Following is a beautiful illustration how another Gay male minister did just that: He writes:
"I have come to reclaim the word 'queer' for myself.
"...I took a job with a large...company...destined to be purchased by a fortune 500 company called Eastman Kodak. I worked 20 years collectively as a film and photo processing technician. [The company later Qualex]
"...After Qualex gathered up miscellaneous photo processing businesses Kodak rebought Qualex...I was now working for Qualex, a subsidiary of Kodak."
"At my 15th anniversary I was given a catalogue from which to choose my proverbial 'watch'. I looked at a Qualex logo ring, which was a very fashionable 10-karat 'Q' and inwardly laughed. There was no way I was going to choose it and allow myself to be part of a Kodak award event receiving a conspicuous 'Q' ring.
"Looking back I would now give a great deal to have chosen the 'Q' ring for my memoirs as it would now represent the uniqueness of my life experience, namely that of being a positive Queer in the work place. I would now cherish it with a most unique sense of pride where once I winced from the ridicule it would have caused before such powerful media presentations like 'Queer as Folk' which helped to re-image the degrading label of 'Queer.'
"In recent years when I have watched the excellent awards event of GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) being held in the glamorous Kodak Theatre, I smile even more proudly that I was once a gay clog in the huge Eastman Kodak wheel."
Personally, I still prefer not to use the Q word. However, as generations and cultures evolve, we need to learn to evolve, and grow, with them. No matter how repugnant something may seem, God can bring good out of it. We can take a word that has been used against us in a negative way, and turn it into something positive -- yea, something beautiful.
CHEERS!
SISTER PAULA NIELSEN
PO Box 2206
Portland, OR 97208
Friday, June 1, 2007
