In June of 1987, I attended the General Conference of the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches in Miami, Florida.  A large meeting was going on in one of the large conference rooms -- and as I passed by I could hear applauding and cheering.  Later someone told me that a video of an interview conducted by Tammy Faye Bakker on PTL was being shown.  She was interviewing Stan Pieters, an MCC minister, an open Gay man, who nearly died from full-blown AIDS, and who came back to living a full life.   As I recall, the doctors  didn't say he was "cured", yet they acknowledged that the disease was in full remission.  In the interview, Rev. Peters said to Tammy Faye:  "I am not afraid of death; I believe in the resurrection of Jesus Christ."  Tammy Faye replied:  "Only a Christian has that peace." 

 

As time went on, I heard from several sources that Tammy Faye got a lot of flack and criticism from many in evangelical circles because she openly supported a Gay man.  At that time, scores were dying from AIDS.  The medical "cocktails" that have slowed the disease down had not yet been formulated.  And the evangelical and charismatic churches were doing nothing to help in the fight against AIDS.  Some were declaring that AIDS was God's judgment.  In full gospel circles, it was not popular to give any love and support to AIDS victims -- no compassion, only condemnation, flowed from their pulpits.  And yet, Tammy Faye Baker had the courage to do the unpopular thing by openly manifesting God's love to the Gay community. In her sphere, she is truly a pioneer.  A beautiful Christian who sets an example of smiling, even in the midst of persecution.

 

It wasn't too long after that summer of 1987 that the fall of the PTL network became a reality.  You know the story.  Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker were publicly scorned and humiliated.  I'll never forget that moment on national TV news when, outside of the courthouse, Tammy Faye sang that beloved hymn:  "On Christ the solid rock I stand..."

 

During this period, I was working as an entertainer -- emulating Sophie Tucker, the "red hot mama", and doing stand-up jokes.  A whole collage of "Jim and Tammy" jokes were being expounded by comedians.  I included some in my repertoire. 

 

Sometime during the 1990's I got international publicity for the SISTER PAULA television ministry -- "that old transgendered preacher".  Yes, I worked both as a preacher and as an entertainer.  Some programs on the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) featured me.  One such program was called TV PIZZA, featuring segments of a variety of television programs in the United States.  They flew me to Hollywood, California to be interviewed.  (They were supposed to send me a copy of the final airing tape of the program -- they never did.  It wasn't my best hair-do.  The gal who interviewed me said I looked like Shelley Winters). 

 

At any rate, the TV pizza interview was completed.  I was starting to get up and unhook myself from the clip microphone, when a man from behind the scenes said to the hostess:  "Ask Sister Paula what she thinks of Tammy Faye."  And so the cameras rolled again.  As I recall, I shared how she was supportive of Gay people and about her interviewing the Gay minister ,etc.  When you do so many interviews over the years, you don't always remember every detail.  And you are at the mercy of the program's film editor.. 

 

AND THEN, I concluded the interview with a couple of "Jim and Tammy" jokes. 

 

The house in the Hollywood Hills was on a hill.  I climbed up the stairs to the next level to be picked up by the chauffer.  And who walks in, just as I was leaving, but Tammy Faye herself.  She was going downstairs to be interviewed, and we conversed briefly.  As I recall, she was battling colon cancer at that time.  I perceived a person who has experienced much deep inner pain -- a person who loved everyone unconditionally.  I said to a friend:  "That woman [Tammy Faye] does not have a prejudicial bone in her body." 

 

The same chauffer who drove me to the airport had picked up Tammy Faye at her residence in Palm Springs.  I said to him:  "Oh, I am so embarrassed.  Had I known that Tammy Faye herself was going to be there, and that they were going to put both of our segments on the same program, I never would have told those jokes."  I asked him to convey my apologies to her when he drove her back to Palm Springs.  He replied:  "Maybe they won't use the jokes."   Since they never sent me a tape, to this day, I do not know.  And the chauffer added, regarding the jokes:  "Oh, I am sure she has heard them all." 

 

The lesson to be learned here is this -- never say anything about anyone that you would not say if they were in the same room. 

 

I sent Tammy Faye a sermon which embraced my personal testimony.  She wrote back a lovely personal note.  And she placed me on her mailing list.  After that, however, there was no more personal contact between us. 

 

Today, Tammy Faye, is stricken with unoperable lung cancer.  She only weighs 68 pounds. 

 

Her son, Jay Bakker, is not Gay.  Yet, he has come out as a "Gay Affirming" minister.  His website is revolutionchurch.com.  Jay will receive this email, and I am hereby asking him to forward it to his mother.  And my deepest apologies for ever telling a "Jim and Tammy" joke.  And being the kind, loving, and compassionate person she is -- I know she has already forgiven me.

 

This past three weeks I have been ill.  Taking antibiotics ("monster pills" I call them), I sat at home and brooded, thinking negative thoughts, and allowing myself to "feel sorry for Paula."  And then, I saw the LARRY KING LIVE telecast featuring the interview with Jay Bakker -- along with a brief telephone interview with the indestrucible Tammy Faye.  My worse moments are not even "light afflictions"  when compared to the suffering that Tammy Faye is enduring.  And yet, she keeps up her appearance, wears her makeup, and SMILES.  She puts me to shame.

 

And in closing the LARRY KING LIVE program, Jay Bakker shared that when confronted with religious bigotry, his mother jovially tells him:  "Don't let the bastards get you down."  (Having just been harassed by someone in a grocery store, those words gave me comfort).

 

Friends used to joke:  "Who has the bigger eyelashes?  Sister Paula or Tammy Faye?".  It doesn't matter.  All I know is, that for the time I have left, I pray that I will see life through "the eyes of Tammy Faye."

 

copyright - SISTER PAULA NIELSEN, PO Box 2206, Portland, OR 97208.